Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
It will not come as a surprise to those reading this that I had basically lost hope of having a family. I had started to gear my thinking that it was just going to be "just" the two of us. I was starting to except that I would never hear the words "Mommy I Love You".
Today, I got a glimmer of hope
we spoke openly and candidly about adoption. Adoption has always held a dear place in my heart as my wonderful little brother is adopted. He is not only my brother but he is also one of my dearest and closest friends.
We had started the adoption process many years ago with a particular agency. I had no idea of the emotional roller coaster that just the paper work could and did cause. There was other reasons in which I will not go into detail. Suffice it to say we have not pursued it since. Right or wrong.....we simply cannot go back and change that.
The good news is; that door is being reopened and that hope is starting to come back!
Monday, February 16, 2009
I am blessed to live in a beautiful area. An area where it doesn't take me long to get away from people and civilization. In just a few short minutes I was parked near Strawberry and started my short trek through the snow.
I can't help but think of the poem "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. Here is just a part of it.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The other day while Scott was at work his brother called and told him that they had been placed! In adoption terminology that means that a birth mother had picked them and is due this April. We are in every way so very happy for them! Their hopes and their dreams are coming true and I am truly happy for them.
Then the floodgate opened. I simply couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. As much as my heart was filled with joy for them it was also engulfed with hurt and sadness. Why? Why? Why? Why can’t the hurt just go away? If it is meant to be just the two of us then why does this hurt so much? Why can’t I just be happy for them and forget the emptiness that I feel? Why? Why? Why?
I do not have the answers, I just have the questions.............
Monday, February 9, 2009
Today, however, I got a pleasant surprise in my mail. It was a letter from a group of Marines that I had sent a care package to. I was informed that this group was in need of some support and I gladly accepted. Marines hold a special place in my heart so I was happy and eager to help. I also tend to get teary eyed and sappy and it was no different as I read their letter. These young men belong to the EOD Section (the USMC Bomb Squad). They basically take apart the roadside bombs when they are found! I would like to share a part of the letter..........
"I can tell you that we have made a difference out here, regardless of what the media says. The Iraqi's have taken back their country and our country is much safer because of that. We enjoy what we do and are very proud to be a part of such a great nation...."
All I can add is that it is an honor and a privilege to serve these great young men. May the good Lord bless them and keep them all safe from harm.